what the hell...

damn freaking ***. after such a long time he still won't reply a single of my e-mails. what am i, freaking invincible? that's cool, then i can just walk around having free food without anyone knowing. hurry up and freaking reply me so that i can get rid of YOUR stuff which i bought FOR YOU when i thought that you actually CARE. since they're supposed to be presents, so it's officially YOURS, and i don't want to keep things that are not MINE with me. and same goes with the stuff that i 'borrowed'.


and although i might be using 'colorful' words, i don't really feel any anger in me right now. i just wanted to express my emotions that i'm thinking but not feeling right now. maybe the meditation works. i can't even seem to get angry these few days =/ i'm only thinking in my head angry stuff, but i can't feel the anger or disappointment anymore. or maybe it's just because i'm already immune to it after all i've been through.


'THANKS' to all those who actually made me this way, now i'm a partially emotionless person. oh well, i don't really wanna care, just don't ever show me your faces in the future and that'll be fine. like the 'brother' in the temple said that day, "everything that happens to you is a good thing" hmm... i'm still wondering if it's true. maybe because of this, i might find a really great guy who loves me to bits in the future (*hint* Tezuka *hint*) =D